Breaking Dawn, A Real Wedding – Bella & Edward – A Parody

Posted on: 03/12/2011

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The Twilight Saga is one of my guilty pleasures.  Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner included.  So, when newlywed Bella Cullen emailed me with her Real Wedding photographs, I couldn’t wait to share them on the wedding blog… you’d think she would have other things on her mind, wouldn’t you?!

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Indulge me.

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Over to Bella:  We got engaged in the Summer of 2008, after Edward refused to turn me into a Vampire or even to sleep with me before we were married.  Those are both things that I am, like, obsessed with (wouldn’t you be?) so I agreed to his proposal.  I must admit that I had a touch of cold feet (I have this really hot friend, Jacob, who was literally hunting me down) but in the end I decided that Edward was my forever.

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We were married on 18th August 2008 in the woods outside Edward’s family’s home.  Edward’s sister, Alice, organised the whole thing – right down to my dress and shoes.  Boy, does she know how to throw a party.  The Cullens also paid for the whole thing.  Carlisle sure must make a lot of money as a doctor. 

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I wore a Carolina Herrera gown, with no less than 152 buttons down my spine.  The dress was made from French Chantilly lace and crepe satin.  I also reluctantly squeezed my tootsies into a pair of bejewelled Manolo Blahnik heels, although I would much rather have been wearing my Converse.  That’s me!

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Apparently, Carolina designed the back panel of the dress (which was custom made to fit me and worth $35,000 – again, paid for by Carlisle) as a romantic surprise.   

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After saying our vows and an inappropriately long snog at the altar, we sat down with our friends and family for the wedding speeches and our wedding breakfast.  Luckily one half of the congregation refrained from having the other half for main course. 

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We honeymooned on Edward’s mother’s private island near Brazil, the Isle of Esmee, where we messed up the bedroom and terrorised the locals. 

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My top tip for other Brides Up North would be to remember to pack birth control in your honeymoon luggage if you want to avoid little surprises…

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Want to see what the newlyweds got up to next…?

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Ooh, and a flash of Taylor Lautner’s chest!

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Congratulations Bella & Edward!

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Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog – Images © 2011 Summit Entertainment via Marie Claire

This is not a sponsored post, it’s just for fun and is intended as a parody

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