April 9th, 2018 | Rachel Parry
Melissa Beattie Photography, source
Nope, the topic of this afternoon’s post isn’t wedding karaoke or even new craze marryoke, but instead brides shaking up tradition by choosing to make a speech on their wedding day.
Gasp you might, as this is a duty usually dealt to the groom, father-of-the-bride and best man, but no longer are speeches considered a male-only zone, as mothers, maids of honour and brides themselves are stepping up to the mark and relishing in the opportunity to address and entertain guests with their memories, anecdotes and well wishes.
And with bride-to-be of the moment Meghan Markle, set to be making a speech at the royal wedding, we can only see this emerging trend continuing to grow. As such, we’ve invited an expert in the field to the blog today to inspire and inform you ladies on how to smash public speaking – please welcome our wonderful Sponsor, Emma of Emma Taylor Presents.
The fairy godmother of wedding speeches, Emma offers a series of group workshops and one-to-one coaching sessions on how to nail that moment in the limelight, covering everything from content and structure to the delivery.
So, for those of you keen to exercise your vocal chords at the top table as well as on the dancefloor, we’re handing over the blog to the lovely Emma who has golden girl power advice to share…
It’s becoming increasingly popular for brides to make a speech on their wedding day, why would you say that is?
emma says: In an age of equality, it seems very odd that the bride – who has usually ploughed copious amounts of time and money into making her big day one to enjoy and remember – should sit mute when the time comes to formally speak about the day. Very often if brides work in positions where they have to present regularly, they know they’re decent speakers and that they can handle a speech. They think, ‘well if the chaps are doing it, it seems strange that I wouldn’t.’ Meghan Markle will give a speech at her wedding, and is any one surprised? She’s a modern, capable professional.
What are the main considerations for brides to think about if they do want to make a speech on their wedding day? What content could they include?
She needs to understand the speech responsibilities of the other speakers and make sure she doesn’t stray into their territory.
In terms of a content roadmap, the bride should open by thanking her maid of honour and bridesmaids for all their support. A funny hen do anecdote that captures the fun and dedication of her top girl team will always go down well. It needs to be pithy though; edit out the dull bits but expand and play out the big, humorous moments.
Now she should talk about her new husband. How they came to meet and the life journey they’re about to embark on together. This should be kept light, witty and original. Although guests might say ‘ah’, none really wants to hear, “And I can’t believe I’ve married my Prince Charming.” It’s been done to death. But they will relish something like, “And I look forward to the years ahead; converting Adam to the wonders of yoga, meat-free meals and moisturising.”
The bride should thank her family and the groom’s family for any outstanding non-financial help they’ve given. She should let the groom thank the families for monetary contributions. She could remark on the hours her mum put in accompanying her to wedding fairs and dress fittings. If she fears she’s been a bit Bridezilla during the planning process, then now’s the time to fess up and apologise. She could finish by proposing a toast to the continued health and happiness of her parents and parents-in-law.
Stu Ganderton Photography, source
In what ways can you help brides with the construction and delivery of their speech?
I can help her to select the best material and eek out as much entertainment from it as possible. I can help her structure it so it flows beautifully and doesn’t jump jerkily from one section to the next. And I can help her give a poised performance so that she won’t cringe and want to hit fast-forward when she watches her video back.
How can a bride making a speech add to the wedding day and why would you encourage ladies to take to the mic?
The fact is that even if the bride doesn’t intend to make a speech, she’ll most probably be called upon to do so. Guests love hearing from the bride. And, like anything in life, it’s always best to be prepared. So I think brides who feel confident about speaking should state that they will speak – guests will look forward to it – and for those who don’t feel confident, they should prepare a speech anyway in case their guests start to chant their name and demand a few words, and the poor bride suddenly realises that if she doesn’t take to the mic she’ll look impolite and disappoint them.
What would you say to brides who like the idea of making a speech but that are nervous about public speaking?
The same as I say to all wedding speakers. Do your preparation; good prep is the fountain of all confidence. Accept that adrenalin will be in the body before you speak but manage it by controlling your hands and feet and breathe in deeply through the nose. Remember too that everyone there is willing you to do brilliantly. You’re their woman. Think how warmly Adele would be received at the Brixton Academy or Lady Gaga at Carnegie Hall – well your guests are going to respond to your performance with that same level of warmth and affinity.
Laura Calderwood Photography, source
What for you are the key ingredients to a good bride speech?
Humour, confidence and enjoyment. Although brides are more than capable of delivering a witty, polished speech, a lot of guests are surprised when they actually do. Although guests like to hear from the bride, they often expect her contribution to be a nervy, giddy, teary few words, so when their expectation is completely subverted, and she storms it, it’s just brilliant.
What is the feedback like from brides who you have helped to construct a wedding speech?
The feedback’s been great. Brides typically love the planning stage; talking through their material and polishing it. Although, as they do this, the majority are nervous about actually delivering the speech. After they have, however, they are very pleased that they took to the mic, and this is largely for posterity’s sake. They’re thrilled that their children and grandchildren will be able to watch them addressing their nearest and dearest while looking stunning on such a special day.
February 16th, 2018 | Rachel Parry
The topic we’re focusing on in today’s post is something that can cause many a person’s blood to run cold – the wedding speeches. As while seen as a highlight of the day for guests, for the members of the bridal party who actually have to deliver them it’s an honour that often comes with a side-helping of fear!
Watching my fiancée painfully deliberate over how to approach a best man speech recently made the thankful that, as a female, such a duty wouldn’t be bestowed on me. Or so I thought! In May my brother Dan is getting married *lets off party popper* and I’m his best woman, oh wait, that involves a speech! Furthermore, having now had a ring put on my finger, I’m rather drawn to the growing trend for brides to have their say from the top table too. And so, it appears I could well be in the bright speech spotlight not once, but twice, in the next 18 months.
As such I will be paying particularly close attention to our uber-skilful, new Sponsor that we’re introducing on the blog today, public speaking coach Emma Taylor of Emma Taylor Presents.
With a successful background in scriptwriting and acting, Emma set up her business to deliver training courses and coach individuals in public speaking and presentation skills, which she has now extended to include professional guidance and advice on the construction and delivery of wedding speeches. What a fabulous idea we hear you cry, and we couldn’t agree more!
With one-to-one coaching and group workshop options for everyone from the best man, groom and father-of-the-bride, to any females that want to take to the mic too – brides, matrons, mums – Emma can help turn a fearful task into a truly wonderful experience.
And she’s taking over the blog this morning to tell us just how she does it – pens and notebooks at the ready!
READER OFFER – Emma is offering Brides Up North readers a 10% discount on group workshop attendance in Leeds, Manchester and Liverpool during March, April and May 2018. Full details below.
You’ve been providing public speaking training for MPs, senior managers and even members of the clergy for over a decade, so how did you come to add wedding speech coaching to your portfolio of services?
emma says: It was after attending a wedding last year. At it, the best man spoke for too long and repeated some of the groom’s material, the father-of-the-bride was barely audible and never once looked at the guests, and when the bride was asked to say a few words, all she could manage was a clichéd, “thank you all for coming”. The speakers clearly needed help, but they’d not had anyone to turn to, and that’s when I thought, ‘I could be that person’.
Can you tell us a little about your background and how Emma Taylor Presents came to fruition?
While I was studying for my MA in Scriptwriting, I worked part-time as a PA. As part of the job, I attended lots of meetings and witnessed lots of poor presentations. One day, in the car on the way back to the office, I happened to casually remark that if these presenters understood a little about dramatic structure and were given a few acting skills, then their presentations would be greatly improved. The following morning, my boss strode into the office and announced, “I had dinner with the Chair of Salford Royal last night. He’s a dreadful public speaker. I’ve found you your first client!” My initial reaction was horror. But then I decided to put my money where my mouth was and deliver the coaching. Anyway, post coaching, everyone noticed the transformation and my business grew by word of mouth mainly.
Can you tell us a little about the various wedding speech training packages you offer?
I offer three different training options: One-to-one coaching, a bridal speech party and open group workshops.
The one-to-one option is ideal for wedding speakers who are time-poor, very inexperienced or very scared about giving their speech. The service generally comprises two meetings. The first meeting is to sketch out the speech and agree its content. The second meeting is to rehearse the speech. In between sessions, I will pen the speech which the client is encouraged to tweak so that he or she finds it natural to say.
The bridal speech party brings together the wedding’s key speakers: best man, groom, bride, father- or mother-of-the-bride and, sometimes, the maid of honour too. It’s always a lively, jolly and productive affair. Over a glass of fizz, participants get to suggest ideas, share anecdotes and structure and/or rehearse their speeches. The party also presents a wonderful bonding opportunity. It usually lasts four hours.
I offer two types of group workshops: Simply the Best and Welcomes, Wishes and Cheers! Simply the Best is designed for best men, best women and maids and matrons of honour while Welcomes, Wishes and Cheers! prepares fathers and mothers-of-the-bride, grooms and brides for the public speaking task that awaits them. The workshops are three hours long and will run in venues in Manchester, Liverpool and Leeds during the spring.
How would you say wedding speeches have changed over the years and what makes a good speech in today’s modern world?
I don’t think the remit of wedding speeches has changed but I think guests’ expectations have. So, if a couple is throwing a large, no-expenses-spared day, then guests expect the speeches to top the wonderful wedding breakfast, and if they don’t, there’s a sense of flatness and disappointment.
Of course, more women speak at weddings today. It’s quite common now for a mum to deliver the ‘father-of-the-bride’ speech and more and more brides are choosing to take to the mic – Meghan Markle reportedly being one of them at. Matrons and maids of honour are also leaping to their feet and all of this is to be encouraged. Guests love it when the girls get involved. However, because the bride’s and maid of honour’s speeches aren’t traditional ones sometimes they lack a sense of purpose and can meander. My coaching addresses this and gives brides and maids of honour a sound but simple steer.
Even if a bride hasn’t intended to give a speech, she’s regularly called upon to say a few words, so I’d always advise her to have a short speech prepared. Remember, the best seemingly ‘off the cuff’ speeches have usually been given an awful lot of thought!
What would you say is the most common mistake made when constructing and delivering a speech?
In constructing, worrying so much about it being funny that the speaker gets his or her jokes off the internet. Audiences can sniff this a mile of, and they don’t like it. What they want to hear are truthful stories and familiar, funny observations that really capture the personality of the bride or groom.
In terms of delivery, a lot can go wrong, but I think my biggest bugbear is when speakers just read out their speeches with their heads down. The audience wants to see the speaker; guests want to feel that the speaker is looking them in the eye. Interaction is everything!
What would be your top tip to help people overcome their public speaking nerves?
Remind yourself of all the preparation you’ve done. An exam isn’t worrying if you’ve revised, and a speech will go well if you’ve prepared. Remember those hours you put in.
What is the feedback like from those that you have helped with a wedding speech?
It’s been excellent. And of course, what’s important to my clients is the feedback from guests at the weddings they’ve spoken at – which has also been really good. I think clients like my firm but fun approach. Once we start working on their speech, they go from dreading it to feeling excited about it; a sentiment they didn’t believe was possible!
Clients benefit because I’m not just a professional scriptwriter, but I also trained as an actor, so I’m able to help them in the prep and delivery of their speech. They trust my feedback and they respect my perfectionism. I want their speech to sparkle as much as they do.
Can you give us an idea of the price of the packages available?
The complete one to one package is £550. The bridal speech party is £475. Attending a group workshop is £75 per participant. I’m pleased to offer Brides Up North readers a 10% discount on group workshop attendance during March, April and May 2018. Subject to terms and conditions.
January 29th, 2014 | Julia Braime
Our lovely guest blogger Rachel’s back this afternoon with more pearls of wisdom, all because she wants your wedding speeches to be memorable for all the right reasons. Don’t forget to raise a glass to her too!
Rachel says: Although I’m currently as close to getting married as Justin Bieber is to winning a role model of the year award, it’s a growing concern of mine just how my Dad will manage to hold it together long enough on my wedding day to make a speech.
Basically he’s an emotional guy – he’s been known to cry over Forest Gump (forgivable), waving my 19-year-old brother off on his two-week holiday to Thailand recently caused him to blubber, even a beautifully cooked steak sandwich has been known to reduce the man to tears (I kid you not).
Hypothetical talk of my wedding day is another catalyst of emotion for my Dad. It’s therefore no surprise that I worry how he will fare when it comes to delivering his farther-of-the-bride speech – a duty that has caused even the sternest of fathers to well-up.
As the only daughter I would never take the privilege away from him – I know he’ll make a wonderful job of it (no matter how many boxes of Kleenex he goes through in the process), but this trail of thought did get me thinking about who else I might like to speak at my wedding.
Traditionally speeches are delivered after the wedding breakfast by the father-of-the-bride, the groom and the best man, but as couples continue to shake up formal proceedings, speeches are taking place at different times of the day and are being delivered by different people.
A popular new addition is inviting the father-of-the-groom to deliver a speech. Witnessing a child tying the knot is a big day for any parent whether it’s a son or daughter taking their vows. As such mothers-of-the- bride/groom are also taking to the stage.
To me, those picked to speak at a wedding should be the people who know the bride and groom best, both before and during their relationship. As well as a parent, it’s a nice idea for a grandparent sibling or friend to be invited to say some words too. Admittedly there needs to be a short-list, not all those nearest and dearest can contribute but speeches given by people who know the couple in different capacities gives a well rounded overview of the new Mr and Mrs that all guests can relate to.
Another change to note is the rise of the bride’s speech. After all ladies why wouldn’t we want the opportunity to thank our loved ones, speak kindly of our new husband (oh and have the right to reply to any cringe-worthy stories delivered at our expense).
Much to the relief of many people’s digestion systems, speeches are often now planned to take place before, rather than after the wedding breakfast. Whether it’s outside during the welcome drinks or prior to the sit down meal, this enables all to relax and enjoy without struggling through courses with their stomach in knots.
Whoever you choose to do the honours, here are a few quick tips for a spectacular speech:
Plan In Advance
I’ve actually seen people leave their speeches until the last minute and try to wing it, I’m yet to see this done successfully. The nerves on the day are enough to contend with without piling on the pressure by having to make up a speech on the spot.
Those who plan and practise in advance often deliver the best speeches, whether they provoke tears, laughter or a combination of the two. Rehearsing will give those not used to speaking in public the opportunity to build confidence whilst running their speech passed others to gain feedback.
Engaging with the audience is key to delivering a good speech so don’t bury your head in a piece of paper and read out your prepared speech word-for-word. Instead try to come across more conversational, get the main parts in your head ahead of the big day then have a few clear notes to hand during your moment in the limelight to ensure you don’t miss anything, or anybody, out.
Be Aware Of Your Audience
The last thing any wedding couple wants is a speech that warrants a #awkward or #cringe tag. While embarrassing stories, dating anecdotes and hen/stag do memories can add a humours element, speakers should consider if they are likely to upset or offend. Particularly bear in mind children, older relatives and protective parents.
Make It Memorable
Incorporating photos, videos or props in a speech can help to make it all the more memorable. It might be a souvenir from the hen do, a video message from someone unable to make the wedding day or a montage of childhood photos but whatever you choose don’t forget to take it with you on the big day.
Finally, remember the tissues – God knows I’m going to need them at my wedding!
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Rachel Parry is a regular guest blogger for Brides Up North
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