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As a wedding blogger, I think its my job to inform my readers about as many types of wedding as possible.  Just as not everyone wants to go down the DIY, funky shoes, retro hair and bright underskirts route, equally others can’t imagine anything worse than a traditional “Princess” wedding.  {Side note:  I think both rock!}

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The most important thing to consider when starting your wedding planning is who you are as a couple and what the day should mean to you.  Not your mum, friends, dog, Auntie Hilda and certainly not the online community – but the two of you.  That’s what its all about! 

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Variety is the spice of life – and that’s why you wont find any entry requirements at the door of this wedding blog.  You don’t need to act cool, spend your parent’s retirement fund, have everyone (including your cat) in perfectly matching duck egg blue outfits, drape yourself in bunting, source your favours from the moon or wear your grandma’s nightgown hand sewn with vintage lace by a thousand tiny elves up the aisle (although, on second thoughts, I would love to blog that wedding!).  All you need to do is celebrate love, our differences… oh, and being proud to be Northern helps a bit (although we are kind to our Southern sisters too)! 

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With that message in mind, today I chat to the lovely Cat Treadwell, a Druid Priest, about the Pagan ritual of handfasting.  I have to admit that this was a ceremony I knew diddly squat about prior to meeting Cat, so was really interested to learn more.  And there was lots to learn… 

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What is your background?  How did you become a Druid Priest?

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Like most modern Pagans, I think I can honestly say that I’ve always felt this ‘calling’ – I just didn’t know how to define it! As a child, I can remember happily pottering around for hours in the woods and hedgerows; then in my 20s I was given some books on Paganism and things grew from there.

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I’ve been a practising Pagan for over 10 years now, but formally began Druid training in around 2005. When my partner and I were ordained as Awenydd (priests) of the Anglesey Druid Order, we made a promise that with this knowledge comes responsibility: it was time to be out in the community acting as Priests for those who need us. And so here I am!

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Can you explain a little about the Pagan religion?

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Paganism is ultimately about the connection that we as humans have as part of nature, seeing the sacred in the world around. It is the overarching term for a variety of practises, including Druidry, Witchcraft, Wicca, Heathenry and many others, all with different ways of seeing the universe; ultimately, our spirituality stems from our relationship with the world in which we live.

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As humans, we aren’t disconnected from the Earth, or somehow raised above it to use it as an infinite resource (especially in these days of increased awareness of ecological responsibility). Everything we do both fed by and back to other living things. We are nourished by the world, and so we return that by honouring it in our lives.

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What is a handfasting ceremony?

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A handfasting is a traditional wedding ceremony in which a couple declare their vows of union to each other. This can be personal, between couple and priest, or in the sight of family, friends and loved ones.

Couples generally say to me that they are looking to marry in a way that is important and meaningful, but not necessarily in a traditional ‘church’ ceremony. The spirituality of nature allows them to say their words to each other in the sight of their witnesses, the land of their birth and the wider world. As those who’ve done it will tell you, it’s a truly joyful and moving experience.

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Is a handfasting ceremony a legal marriage?

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Sadly not at this time. The Pagan Federation is looking into the legalisation of handfasting ceremonies in the UK, but until then, couples must have their union witnessed by a Registrar in order for it to be confirmed under law.

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Where can a handfasting ceremony take place?

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Anywhere! We do recommend outdoors, but ultimately the location is entirely up to the couple. I’ve performed handfastings in hotels, in museum and gallery grounds, on a cliff top, on a golf course… and even within Stonehenge itself.

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How can a couple personalise a handfasting ceremony?

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Each ceremony starts from a template structure, but from that moment, every single part of the rite is personalised. The focus is the couple, their preferences, beliefs and requirements, so until the moment of the ceremony itself, anything can be ‘tweaked’ to their needs!

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We suggest couples include the names of loved family members or friends to thank in the rite, their parents or children; parents can still ‘give away’ the bride, and both can have handmaidens or a Best Man. It is the meaning behind this that we look into – those individuals become part of the ceremony, with their specific role and duty. The other guests all act as witnesses and participants, so absolutely everybody is included.

Every single ceremony is unique in that I do not memorise a set ritual text. Inspiration comes from the couple, the surroundings, those present (in body and in spirit). And of course, each set of vows is entirely personal to those two individuals.

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Do I need to be a practising Pagan to marry in a handfasting ceremony?

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Not at all. The majority of those I’ve married have been generally secular – just wanting something ‘meaningful’ in a more natural manner. Everybody feels a kinship to the natural world on some level, so it’s reaching into that for a spiritual ceremony based around the couple’s own particular beliefs… primary of which is their love for each other.

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On the other hand, one couple married in an Iron-Age roundhouse, calling on gods of fertility to help them start a family! So there are certainly more Pagan couples out there looking for rituals tailored to their needs.

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Any really memorable ceremonies that you have carried out?

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Honestly, every single ceremony is memorable in its own way, with its own challenges and wonders.

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Stonehenge was obviously a true privilege and an unforgettable experience. But perhaps the first handfasting that I ever performed will naturally stand out – in Verulamium Park, St Albans, under a beautiful tree by the Roman walls, first thing on a bright, fresh spring morning.

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What is the fee for a handfasting ceremony?

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I’m very aware that many couples cannot afford large amounts in monetary terms these days, but I obviously need to cover costs as well, so it’s finding a balance. I generally start from £100 plus expenses (specifically petrol, sometimes accommodation), with more for weekdays as I have to take time off work!

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For that you will receive a full Priest service from the time of agreement until the day itself – and, I’m proud to say, usually beyond, as I stay in touch with most of those I’ve had the privilege of handfasting.

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Where are you based and are you prepared to travel?

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I’m based near Derby, but have travelled the length and breadth of England when called upon to do so. I was even asked recently to perform a ceremony in France!

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What can Brides Up North who book you expect from their ceremony/ the whole process?

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Initially, I will provide a template to give an idea of the ceremony… and then ask the couple to go through and change it! We organise to meet, to ensure that everyone is happy, with a small rehearsal if possible nearer to the date itself. The rite will be finalised over time, with discussion to ensure that the couple are prepared. My partner is also fully available to chat, in case the groom needs a man’s point of view!

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I can also provide hard copies of the rite as Orders of the Day for guests – very few are familiar with the handfasting ceremony, so it does provide a little peace of mind, as well as a nice keepsake. I also hand-make the handfasting bread for the couple’s first ‘feast’, and can provide mead (or juice) in a ceremonial cup.

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It’s a constant process, but I do promise a full Priest service from start to finish. I’m available via phone or email (or in person if possible) if called upon – from dress difficulties to worry over vows.

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Is there anything else that Brides Up North should know?

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I’m happy to be contacted to discuss any aspect of the handfasting ceremony, or Paganism and Druidry generally, as needed. For more details on what I’m up to, my website is www.druidcat.wordpress.com

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And while the focus of the wedding day is specifically two people coming together, I’m glad to help with any of the other aspects of a very busy day if I can!

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Why do you read Brides Up North?

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I was introduced to Brides Up North by Andy at Peacock Pix, after the beautiful article on the Stonehenge handfasting – and was amazed by the eclectic nature of the website! I’m often asked for help with suppliers, and the sheer variety of (relatively) local people bringing their skills together to make a day so special is absolutely fantastic.

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Every wedding day is unique. Brides Up North really does show the imagination and effort that goes into these declarations of love and unity

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To speak to Cat about your handfasting ceremony click here to visit her website. 

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Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog – Images © 2011 Cat Treadwell/ Peacock Pix/ Andrew Billington Photography 

Cat Treadwell is a Brides Up North Featured Supplier

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