Up For Discussion: The Name Game (and meet Alison!)

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This morning on the bridal blog, we have a visitor!

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I recently featured Alison’s wedding story and super fun Chester Zoo wedding on Brides Up North and we started chatting by email.  Alison writes her own blog over at www.alison-staples.blogspot.com and I have been heartened by her upbeat and optimistic approach to life in the face of some pretty steep recent hurdles.  Her writing also made me giggle, which is always good. 

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I have invited Alison to contribute a series of guest posts here on the wedding blog about her life as a newly wed, so she’ll be here for the next few Friday mornings, sharing her wisdom in her own unique way.  First up, she tackles a difficult issue – To take his name or not to take his name?  That is the question.  Enjoy! 

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But first, meet Alison…

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I’m Alison Staples and this summer my trusty bloke and I finally ‘tied the knot’.

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For many reasons, never thought I’d see the day:

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I’ve always been clueless with men and managed to go through all of the ‘90’s and most of the   noughties without a boyfriend.

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When I finally did find someone who wanted to go on a second date, I promptly left him behind and went on a round the world jolly for 6 months without any guarantee that he would be waiting for me

…….when I got back. Thankfully he was.

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I dropped so many hints and created so many ‘perfect proposal’ opportunities, it made him all the more determined to do things in his own way and in his own time.

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When he finally chose his moment I managed to cock it up by getting cancer. We had to cancel our holiday to New England, where he’d planned to propose, at a day’s notice.

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Once engaged (on ‘The Lovers Island’ on a trip to Anglesey), I refused to set the date until I knew I was on the mend and would have a decent thatch of hair.

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I wanted our wedding to be an amazing celebration and for it to be an opportunity to say thank you to all our family and friends who had stuck with us and helped us through our ‘difficult time’. We chose Chester Zoo – and it was amazing. I was both cancer free and had a full head of hair. You can read about it in our real wedding feature.

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As a professional charity fundraiser, I’ve organised a few events over the years, however I found getting married a completely different kettle of fish. It was mammoth and a bit overwhelming at times. Ultimately though, I did manage to navigate my way through wedding maze and popped out the other end with a near perfect (and on budget) day.

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As a new bride, Julia has asked me to share some of my newlywed know how with you, her readers, as one of her ‘guest bloggers’. I’m someone who has been there, done that and got the tiara!

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I’m sitting on the fence and it’s not very comfortable.

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Everyone keeps asking me what I’m going to do about my name now that I’m married.  But while I feel really honoured to become a member of the Pocock family, Alison Staples is who I am. I’ve spent 42 years building ‘my brand’ and I feel very deeply rooted in my family history.

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With everything that’s happened over the last couple of years (I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma in 2009), there is a lot to be said for drawing a line under Alison Staples and making a new start now that I’m well. It’s an opportunity to re-invent myself. But I’m also very aware that my sister and I are the last in our current line of Staples. It’s a line that I’ve traced back to the 1650’s.

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I know at the end of the day, I’m still the same person whatever my name, but I spent 18 months fighting hard to make sure that Alison Staples didn’t disappear. She’s a precious person – a big part of me needs to hang onto her.

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Since I got married in June, it has felt at times like my identity has disappeared. Our joint letters are now addressed to Dr & Mrs T Pocock. Where am I?

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I suppose I could hyphenate. Alison Staples-Pocock? Alison Pocock-Staples? No, I don’t think so.

Another option would be to ‘mesh’ our names. Apparently it’s very trendy at the moment. Alison Stacock? Alison Poples? That doesn’t work either.

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Finally, in an attempt to tackle the issue from a different angle, one evening after a particularly competitive game of rude word scrabble – we played ‘the name game’.  With our scrabble tiles, we put the letters P O C O C K S T A P L E S into the bag and pulled out just 6 tiles with a view to seeing what we could make from our combined letters.

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The first one out of the bag was SPACKO!

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Not a very good start, Try again: POCKAS, COPASK, SPACOK, COPOSE

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All rubbish, so we kept trying and eventually they started to improve: PACKET, POCKET, CASTLE, CLASPE, SLACKS, SCOOPE

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Then we got a bit silly and started to organise them into categories:

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TV series name – SPOOKS

Mollusc name – COCKLE

Tour de France names – SPOKES

Rapper name – T-CLOCK

Clairvoyant name – STOKES

Star Trek name – SPOCKS

Prison names – SLOPPS & SLAPPS

Cash n Carry name – COSTCO

Greek name – KOSTAS

French names – PASTEL, POSTAL, LE-SACK & LE-COCK

Spanish name – EL-COCK

German name – SPLATS

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However, I think my absolute favourite has to POLPOT. We’ve never had a Cambodian dictator in the family.

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It was a fun game to play on a warm summers evening fuelled by a bit too much wine, however I’m still confused about what to do and who to be. In the mean time, I guess I’ll carry on being a bit schizophrenic and answer to everything until I get fed up of procrastinating and finally have to jump off the fence. Fingers crossed for a soft landing.

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So, what do you lot think?  Do you plan on taking your new husband’s name?  Are you looking forward to being Mrs His-Last-Name or are you still on the fence?  Leave a comment and me know.  Its officially up for discussion!

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Would YOU like to guest blog for Brides Up North?  Email me at julia@bridesupnorth.co.uk

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Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog – Images © 2011 Alison Staples (for now!)

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