Guest Blog

Stress. Less.

15th April 2013 | Julia Braime

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With a punishing blog schedule, inbox full of enquiries (556 as of 9am this morning, and working on it) and our largest Yorkshire show to date coming up this weekend, those two little words in today’s blog post title couldn’t be more timely.  Whether it’s work or wedding planning that’s getting your knickers in a twist, let’s all take a deep breath and just chill out

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Sure, it’s a very busy week in the Brides Up North office, but we wouldn’t have it any other way, and we absolutely love what we do – raising awareness of regional wedding industry excellence both on and offline, and forging ahead with the Northern revolution! 

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And what if you are stressed out by your wedding planning?  Well, short of calling the whole thing off – and you don’t want to do that, do you? – remember why you are doing it (you know, getting to marry the person you love!) and take our guest blogger Rachel’s tips to heart. 

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With Rachel at the helm, I think the rest of the team can have the afternoon off… or at least make a good dent in that inbox! 

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Kat Timmins Photography for Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog

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Rachel says:  I’ve seen a bridezilla in action and it’s not a pretty sight. After months of careful planning, one tiny detail can cause a bride-to-be to lose her composure, bringing on a meltdown of epic proportions. I recall one bride on the morning of her wedding sending her bridesmaids out to buy new shoes just hours before the ceremony because they’d deviated slightly from the brief.

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“I said flats, not kitten heels,” she roared. But just a short time later she and all her bridesmaids were dancing barefoot to Lionel Richie and all seemed forgotten. As I looked at the pile of disregarded shoes I had to question if it had been worth stressing herself out so much and upsetting several friends in the process (not to mention forcing them to spend money on a second pair of shoes).

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There is no doubt that planning a wedding will cause the stress levels to fluctuate with so many decisions to make, a budget to handle and endless guests to try to please – but to avoid the groom doing a runner before the big day even arrives, there are times when hot-headed brides need to take a step back and question what really matters.

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This point is often reinforced by brides’ tips to others at the end of real wedding blog posts, with most comments along the lines of: “Don’t stress about the small details”, “Enjoy the planning”, “Things can go wrong but remember what’s important.”

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Of course you want things to be perfect, but as the ladies who made it down the aisle will vouch, the important part of the day is marrying the person you love surrounded by those who mean the most to you.

So in an attempt to help other brides-to-be avoid a pre-wedding meltdown over a pair of pesky kitten heels I’ve compiled a list of ways to lessen the stress in the run up to the big day…

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Kat Timmins Photography for Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog

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Be organised

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From the off-set plan a realistic budget and do your best to stick to it, keeping track of your expenditure as you go. Also draw-up a check list of things you need to do and when you need to do them. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to complete tasks and tick your accomplishments off along the way. Also, don’t put off the things you’re not looking forward to, instead get them out of the way first so you can enjoy the fun parts in the run up to the wedding.

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Be realistic

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Remember the reason you’re getting married in the first place (apart from the pretty dress) and don’t put pressure on yourself to achieve the impossible. Accept that you can’t please everyone but you can throw a ruddy good celebration that you and your guests will remember for years to come. Also don’t get competitive, your wedding should be a reflection of you and your fiancée and what the two of you want rather than trying to out-do another couple.

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Delegate

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Get your friends and family involved with the planning by giving them jobs. This will lift some of the pressure off your shoulders whilst giving them a chance to make a memorable contribution to your big day. Consider hiring a wedding planner to assist with all or part of the planning to lessen the pressure. For those who don’t hire a planner, liaise closely with the venue wedding co-ordinator so staff know what’s expected of them.

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Trust in your decisions

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If the planning process starts to feel like an overwhelming chore you can easily become negative and start to doubt decisions you’ve already made . As the saying goes ‘keep calm and carry on’. Believe in your original choices as scrapping plans late on will cause added stress.

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Kat Timmins Photography for Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog

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While feeling in control and being organised will go some way to reducing stress it’s also important not to become completely consumed with the planning by taking some time out. Escaping the check-list every so often can make a huge difference leaving brides-to-be feeling refreshed, confident and excited when proceeding with their plans. When researching the best ways for brides to take a breather I came across some rather interesting suggestions including flying a kite, building a sandcastle and rearranging furniture but I’ve gone for options that centre more around friends, love and laughter (oh and a generous measure of Pinot).

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Date night

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Once-a-week spend some quality time with your fiancée when the w-word is strictly off limits. Whether you choose to cook a romantic meal at home, take a trip to the cinema or book a night in a hotel be sure to remind each other why you first fell in love.

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Time with the girls

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While your friends will undoubtedly want to know how the wedding plans are going, don’t talk obsessively about it for hours on end. Instead, give them a quick update then enjoy finding out what’s new with them while indulging in a girly pastime.

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Time for yourself

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Don’t allow the planning to take over your life, still make time for the things you enjoy doing like going to the gym, having a manicure, loosing yourself in a good book or taking a relaxing bubble bath.

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Brides Up North UK Wedding Blog – Images © 2013 Karen McGowran/ Kat Timmins Photography

Rachel Parry of Mosaic Brides is a regular guest blogger for Brides Up North

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